You may say this thinking you are trying to defend the person who said it. Woozers you are one interfering person! You are making an assumption that the person who said something offensive actually didn’t mean what they said and you don’t know that. You are also offending and diminishing the person in front of you (and now you are actually adding to their existing hurt).
Take a breath. Slow down. First of all, you don’t know what they meant, or how it is being of impact to the person telling you. Start by acknowledging their hurt and ask them what they need. Don’t jump into being defensive for someone else. This isn’t your problem…and good people can hurt someone and do. If you have time and want to, ask them to explain how it is hurting them. Just listen. Period.